I hate being so mad. It does nothing good for me karmacly. Makes me feel icky inside. Normally when I get here, to this point of anger I will pop in some Celtic music and chill myself the hell out. Know what I am listening to??? Angery music. LOUDLY on head phones.
THAT, well it means I want to scream but can't. I would gladly be screaming with Amy Lee at the top of my lungs right now. But I loves Benji and don't want him to throw things at me. :)
I bottle my bad feelings and my anger. I know that I do. I know I shouldn't. Its detrimental to me. I have been lied to, on numerous occasions. These lies have been brought to my attention, along with the things said behind my back.
*Never had a voice to protest, so you fed me shit to digest*
I was going to speak my mind. Calmly and rationally. Then, no, I wasn't wanted around. So, when it all comes out...
Like they say when it rains, it pours. And Baby, with me its gonna be a downpour with lightning and LOTS of thunder.
I am gonna keep music going till I have chilled some. Talk to Mandy, who is doing a GREAT job of calming me. And wait for Sam to come upstairs so I can tell him I love him.
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